Why numbers don't matter

I’ve had a few girls lately raising their concerns regarding weight/fat loss and the number reflecting on the scale… It made me a bit sad to hear that the scale still seem to be such a big thing in our lives. Why do we get so worried if that number on the scale is higher than it used to be? If we feel great about ourselves and then decide to jump on the scale to check on our “progress”, only to find out that this freakn scale just isn’t moving, or the number is even higher than the week before, our mood will come crushing down. Down to level zero; our day or even week is ruined. Sounds familiar? Why do we do this? Why do we measure our self-esteem? Why do we let a scale decide how we should and shouldn’t feel about ourselves?

Trust me, I get it! I used to be exactly like that. When I started to develop my interest and passion about health & fitness, I was researching all sorts of things regarding “weight loss”. I was never overweight but as many other people out there, I was “inspired” by many fake social media and magazines’ photos of perfectly shaped bodies and yeah I wanted to lean up too.

Now, when you google exactly that, there will be what feels like 22 million different opinions and every theory will contradict the other. However, a few years ago the dominant word out there was to count calories, that fat and carbs are the enemy, to consume light/fat free products oh and that women shouldn’t lift heavy weights. Apparently it’s dangerous… do cardio instead they said. Okay, so there I was, reading women’s health magazines and planning my calories for the day, whilst mentally preparing myself for a two hour gym session, where I would mainly jump on the stepping machine and follow a light weight gym program. You know THOSE kind of programs; do 30 sets of 200 reps with 3kg Dumbbells.

Calories and the scale played a big role in my life. I would obsessively type everything I ate into a calorie counting app and got a big satisfaction once I added my gym session to it, which would allow me to consume a few more calories, since I have burned some at the gym. I would go for the low fat produce, as it is fewer in calories. The number of calories on the package was all that mattered to me at that time. At the start I probably wanted to weigh myself every day but decided that was probably overdoing it a bit (good on you myself, you were nearly there!), so I probably weighed myself once a week. Trust me if that scale went up compared to the week before I was NOT a happy person. Hello cranky little Swiss. I could not stop thinking about the reasons why I have gained weight in the week that has just passed… Did I forget to add a meal to my calorie counter? Did I sleep walk and ate all the chocolate in the house?.. Or is it the cheese; I should probably stop eating cheese and I should just cut my portions in half or why not live off vegetables, dipped in air, for a week.

Okay, I never went to the extreme, like not eating cheese; which would be ridiculous and completely cheating on who I truly am.

Hmm cheese.. “MICHAEL, DO WE HAVE ENOUGH CHEESE FOR TONIGHT??” Okay, moving on.

Back to the old me.

Counting calories and stepping on the scale is quite similar to me; both are very obsessive. However, a higher number on the scale could be something so simple, like water in your body, what you ate the night before, digestion, menstrual cycle etc. etc. but I completely ignored all that and let the scale decide of how I felt about myself any my progress. Going out for dinner with friends was a tricky situation. I would make sure to deliberately eat less during the day, so that my calculator would still be happy. It basically just took the fun out of going out, as calories and the number on the scale in the end, were always on my mind.

I was definitely getting fitter, as I did exercise regularly but the obsession over calories and scale definitely wasn’t worth it because it was only moving between a few kgs more or less. However, I did learn a lot from that journey and I don’t completely disagree with calories (more to that in a different blog I think).

After a few years, I started to read and research different things like, is fat and carbs really that bad etc. I slowly started to change my mind. I read the book “accidentally overweight by Dr. Libby”, which definitely changed the way I was looking at food. I was always eating pretty healthy but I thought I was making good choices by consuming low fat produce and I would avoid food like avocados because they are high in fat (and therefore high in calories), although I LOVED avocados. Basically, I moved away from worrying about calories and started eating what I enjoy. At that time I was still a bit obsessed with the scale but it was great to see that it did not make a difference. I was now eating more, better quality food, didn’t worry about calories and I did not put on weight. It took me a while to shake those habits but after a while I put the scale away. They are now sitting in the wardrobe. This was a pretty big step for me, after years of obsessing over it. I told myself that if my clothes don’t fit me anymore, I can always get them back out to track my weight again but I never did. It was such a relief to properly realise, that I can trust myself and don’t have to worry about other factors to tell me if I am making progress or not.

So have I made progress? Yes, I have definitely gotten stronger, fitter and a bit leaner too. I have changed my training and I love lifting some heavier weights and I do believe the only way to lean up is by including weight training and to build muscles. My old stepping-machine-cardio self would not have believed that I would enjoy this style of training. I got over the “fear of lifting heavy”. It simply is not true and strength training – I believe – is the only way to lean up. Strong is the new skinny – this is definitely true. Muscles are key to be healthy and avoid injuries in every day life and we should work on maintaining or gaining muscles until the day we die.

For the sake of this blog, I got my scale out of the wardrobe, as I knew I could hopefully proof the point that “the number is irrelevant”. The first photo on the left was taken in June 2015 and the other one yesterday, March 16th 2019. It might not be a massive visual change, considering the photos are nearly four years apart. I was not after a quick success or a specific goal. I did not want to achieve results with diets or restricting myself from anything. I just wanted to become stronger and fitter without changing the way I eat and socialise. What you can’t see in those photos is how different I feel (actually, I do not look impressed on the first photo, haha). Today, I feel strong, I feel fit. I can lift heavy stuff that I would never have been able to lift four years ago. That to me is the biggest progress. I have freed myself from obsessing over stuff (except that I am obsessed with training but I guess that is why I do what I do ;)) and I am a much happier person within myself.

So to proof my point I stepped on the scale. I did not like stepping on the scale; it was like going back to those days. Even writing this blog and putting it out there, isn’t easy for me. Whilst I don’t care too much what people think, I don’t like being judged about the way I look. But here it is and it actually feels good to get it out there.

Look at the transformation!! We now have grey floorboards and a lamp from Ikea!!!

I am heavier than I used to be but do you think I look like “I have put on weight”? I don’t think so. I have gained muscles, that’s for sure. That is what I am trying to say here. THE NUMBER DOES NOT MATTER. Go off how you feel; if you feel good with your exercise and eating routine, stick with it. Don’t get on the scale to tell you something else. Now do yourself a favour and farewell the scale – go on, put them away, hide them. So are muscles heavier than fat? No, of course not – that’s the wrong way of putting it. 1kg of whatever you measure is the same of 1kg of something else BUT as you can see, muscles are less voluminous and will make you appear leaner, whilst the number on the scale could remain the same or increase over time.

Yes, I still get days where I don’t feel so good about myself and have thoughts like I should have a sixpack because I am a trainer right?? But than I tell myself how stupid that sounds. I don’t need to have an exposed sixpack. For me/my bodytype, it would probably mean that I would have to live a very restrictive lifestyle, which I don’t want to live. What for? It isn’t worth it. It doesn’t matter. If it does happen one day than it would be because all the training just melts allll the fat away but I doubt it. But really, I don’t care, because it would simply be a visual thing but wouldn’t change anything else. I know my body will change at some stage in my life – if we decide to have children for example. I am not going to lie, I do worry that I will struggle to see my body change and not being able to do stuff that I can right now. However, I will embrace the change and will hopefully remember the things I have learnt over the years. It will be a new challenge for me but I am also looking forward to that.

I love living the way I am at the moment because I don’t restrict myself. Yes, I am a healthy person but I do not want it any other way. I know to some people the way I live, is probably restrictive but it simply is because I hate the way fatty food makes me feel. I simply do not crave pizza, chips or cake (or barely ever; never say never). I would honestly choose a salad with roasted vegetables and feta over deep-fried stuff anytime! I love making healthier versions of meals, like pizza. I believe once your taste buds change and you know how good you feel when eating right, you don’t even want to go back to the old way.

I have chocolate when I want some and that is on most weekends! Sometimes during the week too. I have alcoholic drinks when I feel like it but obviously keep it in moderation. I don’t generally eat lollies or cakes at a regular morning tea because I usually don’t feel like it. If I don’t really feel like it, why would I eat it? Because everyone else does? People have sort of accepted that I don’t and my friends know that I am the weird one, choosing a healthy option at a restaurant, sooo I am not being questioned as much anymore. What is this pressure anyway?? I think that’s something for another blog… I have much more to say actually but this blog is turning into a monster blog.

The way we think of ourself is a big ongoing issue.. If you care about this little Swiss’s opinion - stay tuned. There will be more blogs. Catch ya. Uf wiederluege.